A first

Ok, Its official. I am starting a blog. I never understood the difference between a diary and a blog. I keep a prayer diary every day. I did a back and forth email thing with the girls and my mom that was sort of a blog for a long time. Here is a secret about me: I want to be a writer. I have always wanted to be a writer since I was a little girl! I LOVE to read but writing is so much different! I was inspired by my sister in law, Shari. I love reading her blog! She is so positive and unique and fun. Its a little intimidating to write a blog knowing Shari will read it. But that's ok. Its MY blog. I hope that the flavor of my blog is positive and fun, but the truth is, I tend to be a deep person. I often don't know how to function on the surface with people. I either don't want to interact, or I want to know, to really know, how someone is doing. But I tend to like to read lighter, fun, positive books. My favorite books are the ones that are about people who are strong and who have hope. On Shari's blog, she wrote recently about a favorite author, Katherine Center. Katherine commented on her blog! So fun! I ran right out and read two of Katherine's books and loved them! Today I went to the library and checked out every single author that Katherine recommended to Shari! I am so excited! I have a summer cold so my plan today is to curl up in my bed and read! I already ran some errands AND worked out so I just need to clean something and I can read all afternoon guilt free! I didn't sleep well last night (not sure that frappaccino was truly decaf). I also had an argument with Scott. Ugh. I hate it when right out of the blue he'll say something that hits a nerve that I didn't even know was sensitive and then BAM I overreact. Which he does not do well with. I apologized and he apologized but we need to talk. Here's the nerve he hit: well, several. One is that I am in a place where the kids are leaving home and I am redefining who I am. I'm so ready to try new things and be new, to sort of break free. And he's in a huge rut. I feel so squelched! Nerve two:I can't make ANY changes to the house, to myself, to my life without a comment from him. Last night I said I was going to get a pedicure on my birthday and he squalked. I threw a mini fit. Ok, maybe I threw a big fit. He said he's upset that I keep taking down his picures in the livingroom. I don't want pictures of soccer teams that he's coached 4 years ago in our livingroom. Nate Burkus on Oprah said our house is supposed to rise up to meet us when we walk in the door. Mine drags me down--way down--both of us. So much needs to be done that Scott is overwhelmed and frozen in inaction. God recently showed me that I need to do more with what I have instead of pining for something I don't have. So this summer I plan to clean more and do little things to improve the house. Tomorrow I am buying a new mailbox to replace the one that has been paintballed and the flag fell off and it is loose. Happy Anniversary honey! I also moved the John Lennon picture to a different wall and put up some of Leah's artwork. I will see if I can put it on here.