God is so good

I have just been through one of the most difficult weeks of my life. Every single time I have been through something rough, I am blown away but how good God is and how He provides all we need and more always, but even more during trials. There were so many blessings this week. I want to share them with you but also preserve them here. So most of you know that on Monday last week, I got a call at work from my brother that Jean took an overdose of pills and was being rushed to Shawnee Mission Hospital. I left work and got there in time for her to sort of wake up. I came home that night and went to work the next day to get things organized to go back and was surrounded with love and support from my work friends. All week I received texts and calls and emails from all my friends and family and I felt their love and prayers. I spent all week in KC drawing closer to Jean, who apparently needed us so much more than she let on, and had some really awesome times with my dad this week and also my brother. Jean was able to really hug me close and to share her heart with me. We prayed together and cried together many times this week. One special memory is several times as we were leaving the floor, I asked if we could pray and the three of us, Dad, Jean and I would come close with our arms around each other and foreheads touching, praying and crying together. Dad shared his heart with me quite a bit this week also as he wrestled with what happened with Jean but also trying to come to terms with his Alzheimers. I now understand that someone as intelligent and as social as my Dad can fool people into thinking they aren't as progressed with the disease as they are. The social worker told us that lots of people would spend a few minutes with Dad and say he seems fine (for example, Scott spent about 15 minutes with him and said we are overreacting). The more time we spent with Dad, the more impaired we realize he truly is and the more care he needs. It gives me insight into what Jeanie has been going through. Sure, my Dad seems fine. In fact, he is much mellower and easier to get along with than ever. But he wanders in the night and other times. He forgets and even gets into his meds at the wrong times. But he is funny and I really enjoyed my week with him. Night before last we put steaks on the grill and sipped mai tais on the patio and we both really enjoyed ourselves. Dad asked me, "Does Scott do crazy things like this with you?" Each morning we sat together at the breakfast bar in the kitchen eating our cereal and sipping coffee. Yesterday he offered me a year's salary to come live with them. We went for a long walk on a cool trail in the woods and chatted the whole time. We laughed and joked together. On one walk, I told him he gets around pretty well for an old guy and he said, "I'm slowing waaaay down for you." Another awesome blessing was a social worker from the Alzheimer's Association that I just ended up on the phone with (coincidence? I don't think so). She had sooo much knowledge and compassion. She spent two hours on Sunday of Labor Day weekend with us as she recognized the crisis. I learned so much about resources and Alzheimers and she really helped Dave and I come together on some decisions and make a plan. I was able to switch from flailing around to a planned attack. I was able to come home to get ready to head into a tough work week (but I know that God will be with me). My brother is so amazing to take on so much since he lives closer to both Dad and Mom. Really, truly, this has been an incredibly tough week but I feel closer to Dad, to Jean, to my brother, and I feel so much closer to God. No matter how close I get to Him and how endless His wisdom, mercy and provisions seem, there is no end to Him, there is just infinitely more that He has for me. It is so amazing to hit a huge crisis like this and just feel His arms around me and I just lean back into Him and watch Him work out all the details in miraculous ways I could never dream of. We will probably place Dad and Jean in one of the super nice retirement villages there in KC where they will get all they need and we can go see them without worrying about them. A few more details to work out and this will all be ok.