God

I don't blog about God much which is totally weird since I don't have any other part of my life segregated out--He is part of everything I do--my social work, everything! I learn so much about God and His greatness every single day and this week He has revealed Himself anew to me again in mighty, mighty ways. I have been a Christian for 28 years and I discover that there is no end to God and my need for Him. So this week, the FCA thing. I get stuck in ruts and it is hard to get me to change. We've done FCA in the mornings for 9 years. The last several years it just hasn't gone well, we can't get the numbers. There is now no reason to do it in the mornings since we don't have any coaches involved. So I let go and agree to try an after school FCA event. I talk it up and advertise it in all the usual ways, line up worship and the speaker and the details, and three kids sign up. Ok, have to trust God. The day before the event, 4 kids are signed up. So God says to put it on facebook. I do that. I get more prayer cover. At 11 pm the night before, the speaker texts me that his daughter is sick and he isn't sure if he can make it. I just have to trust and I manage to sleep like a baby. When I get up in the morning and have morning FCA, I am feeling incredibly discouraged. We pray, I do Spiritual battle in my mind all day long. I keep checking the list and there are more and more kids signing up. By lunchtime there are 10. I buy more pop. By 2 there are 15 signed up. Oh, I forgot to add that on Monday, I had put an open invitation to all the staff to come, too! So I keep busy doing social work and arrange for a guy to go get the pizza since I'm paying out of pocket. He shows up at 240 saying they wouldn't take a check. I talk him into going back even though he's supposed to be back to do after school supervision. I hear nothing from Jon. I cannot doubt that he's remembered and that he will find us. At 2:50 Jon texts me he's at the back door. Excellent. At 3 I walk into the room and it is swarming with kids! We get Jon set up and the powerpoint (which I haven't had time to check on) and the speaker walks in. It is gravy from there--Jon not only leads the kids in excellent worship, but he connects with them. He teaches them what worship is. He gets a student to pray! I pray and I feel so filled with the Holy Spirit. Then Ben has all the kids sit on the floor and he tells them a wonderful story from the Bible and they are enthralled. I pray again. Then we all fellowship joyfully and eat the pizza (there was just enough pop, pizza and cookies). All a lesson in trust and patience.

Also this week, I had two conflicts with a staff member that I've struggled with for two years--one conflict on top of another. Because of the incredibly difficult, hurting kids we work with, we have to work closely together, cooperating, collaborating, communicating, problem solving literally all day long. And I am bone tired and frustrated with her. I am feeling done. I really am thinking things like how can I get her fired. But I keep praying. I keep doing the healthy and right thing (for the most part). Nancy tells me to stand up for myself as the staff member calls me out in front of my peers one day, and makes me look like an ass in front of staff and a parent at an IEP meeting. I cannot tell you how done I was with this. Greg sees how downtrodden I look and asks me. I don't want to tell him but I tell him. He tells me maybe I've done something. I feel totally unsupported and do not want to hear this. It makes me angry at him. He comes to me later and tells me that he wants to pray with me. He prays that I will humble myself and stay in listening mode (I've already sent an email to set up a meeting to work this out with her). I do NOT want to do this. But I have done it again and again with God's help so I stay in prayer all day long. In she comes at 2:00 and we have an amazing talk. Usually my stomach is churning but it wasn't. God gave me the words to express what I needed to and she heard me. He gave me the ears to hear what she needed to say and I heard her. I humbled myself and realized that while she was assuming negative intent all week with me, I was also doing this with her. There is absolutely no way on this earth, using the world's wisdom, that this would have worked out. I think we both left that meeting feeling good and having healed our relationship. I know we did because we had to jump right into the fire together all the next day and the next with the kids. I'm talking about incredibly frustrating, stressful stuff that these kids put us through that can rip apart any collaboration and communication in an instant. But God held it together.

And today I was just journaling that God has bugged me all week that I need to go see my Dad. I have a to do list a mile long, need to get Adelle, have a Homestead meeting, don't see any way possible. I wake up early this morning and realize, when I stay in God's will in planning my day, He will multiply my time. He's done it again and again and again.

Read all about God and everything that He can do for you in Psalm 119. Every single thing I went through this week is specifically written about in there. :)