A good day is a day spent doing for others

Today was a great day. I want to hang onto these summer days because they are going fast. I finally slept well last night and slept in til 9:15. It was so peaceful when I opened my eyes. Scott had already left for work and I don't think I even heard him get up! Both dogs slept with us and so I spent the typical time scratching them good morning. I let them out to pee and then made my way into the kitchen to make coffee--just for me since Leah is in Newton for a few days and Scott was at work and Joel doesn't drink coffee OR get up before noon. I made myself some oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins for breakfast and put it on a tray (Grandma Smith's solitaire tray) and took it in the living room to watch Joyce Meyer. Had my quiet time, prayer journal, and wrote my anonymous encourager letter, and went through 2 Peter for my Thursday night Bible study and noted all the times he said "remember" or pay attention to.... I showered and put on my summer uniform, today pink shorts, white shirt, and my brand new pink sketcher shape ups! By this time it was 10:30 so I did dishes and started laundry (mostly Scott's stuff from his trip). I gathered a suitcase and big duffel for Joel to start his packing for USC and then made copies of his drivers license and social security card for his loan and put that in the mail. Then I talked with Mom on the phone and changed my clothes and went to water aerobics. Two more friends joined the class today, Kim and Louann so that was fun. I did find out that my gym has sold and will be closing so later I wrote notes to my two favorite instructors letting them know how much their classes mean to me. After water aerobics I fixed a wonderful, healthy sandwich of turkey and laughing cow spread cheese and spinach leaves on toasted arrowwheat, baked chips and drank park of a green Naked (that's the name of the drink, I wasn't naked). Then I hurried to the chiropractor where he declared my back well (praise God!) and then met Keri for a coffee and good chat at Radina's. Got home at 3:30 in time to make a payment on Joel's USC tuition account with him and talked him into letting me shop with him for his dorm stuff here since he can take two bags rather than wait and do it alone there. I then wrote the kids their weekly letters (I'm sending Hannah's and saving Leah and Joel's til they leave for school). Then I picked up Adelle and we made spaghetti. She made herself some toast and a cheese and mustard sandwich. While I cleaned up and did laundry, she watched Around the Horn and country music videos on the computer. Then we took Scott some dinner at the fire station. She really impressed him by naming the team that each of his fantasy baseball players are on. She asked him some specific questions about sports this week that he had to look up to answer! When I reminded him that he coaches soccer for Junction City, she asked him, "What are your thoughts on Junction City versus Manhattan this year?" I thought he was going to pass out with delight. We took her back to meet the fireman and she shook all six of their hands and smiled at them and then bee lined it to the sports page sitting there. Then we went to the gym to deliver my notes and she suggested we work out together sometime! We went to the library and she wanted to check out a sports almanac but its reference so I suggested we also go to the library together another day. What the heck! Two of my all time favorite places to go! Next she'll suggest we get a cup of coffee! I took her home and had a good chat with her mom and then came home to blog! I finished the day off reading Katherine Center's The Bright Side of Disaster. ( I also can't wait to read Stockett's Help that I got at the library today!) A good day is a day spent doing for others. I enjoyed this one thoroughly.

Emotions

I am REALLY struggling with my emotions about the kids all leaving (SOON! Joel leaves in 25 days!). I know that I tend to experience the most intense feelings before an event rather than after. I remember absolutely dreading the moment my maternity leave was over and I had to deliver Hannah to the sitter the first day. Then the day I did it, I danced a jig out to the car that I had 8 babyless hours. There were many more times I missed her like crazy and wished I could have been home with her, but I had done the hard emotional work before I dropped her off. So now I am having all these crazy emotions about the kids and they haven't even left yet! I am soooo proud of each of them and excited for them and their futures and our future as a family! I think about what's ahead: college graduations, careers, engagements, marraiges, grandchildren. None of that can happen unless I let them go. I am so happy for Hannah that she's happy in Wyoming and having such fun adventures, that's she's found someone she really cares for, and that she's finally found her career and purpose in that. She is very happy and I'm happy for her and proud of her! I'm so happy for Leah, also. I love Bethel. We went up there again this week and it helps me to let go of her knowing she has such an awesome, safe place to grow and be. She has such wonderful friends there and good influences and opportunities with the college. And Joel. My goodness! The coordinator for his department said we need to brag because it is such an honor for him to have been selected--so I do every chance I get! USC looks like such a cool, fun, exciting environment. He'll be part of a larger family that looks out for one another and also be part of a smaller family in the Cinematic Arts school and beyond that an even smaller department in his major. I know he'll not only be ok, but have such amazing opportunities! We've gotten every detail worked out for him and I know I'll still be a phone call, text, or email away if something else comes up. The preparations have been helpful for me, sort of like reverse nesting. But. I still keep getting slammed with these intense emotions of sadness, of grief, of loss, of too much change all at once. I try to focus on the things that are positive such as I've mentioned above, but also: less mess, lower grocery bills, less pressure to do meals that please everyone, quieter evenings, more privacy, stuff like that. I'm afraid of being alone--I'm not very good at it. And with Scott coaching, it happens waaaaay too often. I need him to make some changes, however, he needs to coach and stay busy to help him cope with all this. It's his way. And I'm afraid because even though we have a good marraige and are truly there for each other emotionally, etc., we don't know how to be alone together anymore. We just bumble around the house like roommates trying to find things to do. I am going to make a list of things I like to do and have him look it over and star the things he thinks he could do with me and then have him make a list too. We have such different tastes and interests! This scares me! Its too big of an adjustment at a time when we are both struggling with our emotions. Now I'm crying. I also trust God. He's been so faithful through all the big, tough things we've been through, I know He'll be there through this. But that doesn't mean I won't feel the emotions.

Water Park

Today I picked up Adelle and went to the new water park. First she came out of the house and said she didn't want to go to the water park, she wanted to go to the fair. I sent her in to get her swimsuit on and I accidentally let the little dog out. Mom and sister went tearing after the dog. Not good. Adelle's mom said her Grandma is very ill and everyone was pretty stressed out. Adelle came out and got in the back seat, as usual, and gave me some quotes from Around the Horn. We talked about her Grandma and she said everyone is pretty upset. We got to the water park and there was a huge line. I was so impressed that this water park is in our little town. It was amazing! There was a pile of floating rings that you can use to float around in the lazy river that actually had a pretty strong current! In the middle was a huge bubble that you could climb and bounce on and jump or slide off. There was a lily pad part you could try to walk across and two cool baby pools with neat built in toys. There were lots of lounge chairs and tables with umbrellas over them. There were two large water slides. Adelle went down one. I watched her smile all the way down but when she came over to me she said, "I'm done with that." There was a wave pool for boarding on and it looked nearly impossible. Adelle wanted to do it but I talked her out of it. There was also a huge pool with diving boards and laps for swimming. It had a shallower end and we got in. Thank God I had the floaty tube with me because it was too deep for Adelle and she would have drowned. I yanked her over to the side and told her to get out. After that I was pretty nervous. She kept getting away from me and I had to look and look to find her. After a snack, she finally played a long time in the lazy river. When we left, we went over to the free water park where the water shoots out of the ground in various, fun ways. I think Adelle enjoyed that more than anything else. Live and learn.

bummer?

I have been sitting around all day bumming and dwelling on how fat and bored I feel because I'm having to miss my favorite exercise classes today to rest my back. So I read my sister in law's blog (raisin a ruckus) and she listed all the things she's happy about. So I did the same thing and it really helps. (I am aware of the power of positive thinking, I only counsel about it all school year and it is Biblical but why I never think of it myself when I'm bumming, is a mystery). I am so happy that Leah is home for the summer! And Joel is too! And they are both watching a movie with me that is pretty fun (Whippit). The sun in shining. I am rested and healthy (other than my back). I have a car and money and I can go do anything I want. I started a new project yesterday called anonymous encouragers (see it, same name, online) and I sent two anonymous letters yesterday and one today to randomly encourage someone. Rex and Professor are happy to have us home. I get to wear my favorite summer uniform--sport shorts and a t shirt--every day! I could probably go on from here but this is enough to make me feel happy again. Gonna make chicken and pasta with spaghetti sauce tonight.

Who reads this?

I just wonder if anyone is reading this blog. If you are, will you let me know? Just wondering.

ouch

My back is hurting! Again! I keep in great shape but my stupid back "went out" when I was shaving my leg in the shower on Wednesday. I didn't think it was as bad as last time so I went to water aerobics on Thursday (actually felt great) and then went to Bible study that night and it started to really hurt. Ibuprofen isn't touching it. I went for a walk that night (separate blog) and by Friday my back was a mess! And I had the reunion this weekend! Saturday my Mom gave me a hydrocodone and it is the only thing that helps. Sitting is BAD! I ice it and rest it and try to not do anything too long--sit, stand, lie down. I broke down and took another pill today. Have gone to the chiropractor twice and will go again tomorrow. I guess my new water class against the current will have to wait. I'll try fit ball and go back to the deep end class but step is out for awhile. I have some prayer partners working on this so I will give it to God and wait. And thank Him for hydrocodone. :)

Reunion

LHS 1980 30 year high school reunion memories.

Ginger looks fabulous, as usual. Her husband is wonderful! He reminded me tons of Lee in looks and gentle spirit. Davi is working full time and lives near. Niki will be a freshman at Shawnee Mission North. Mike's kids live at home and nearby also. Liisa Embree McNeil looked great. She's in KC doing merchandising for a large corporations in carpeting. She is married, no kids. Cara Bray is in Lawrence working for medicaid. She has two teenagers. Jay Slapper is married and has two young kids. Mark Devoe is in KC, hates his job, has been divorced 18 years, should have been a psychologist and smokes pot daily. He has two teens also. Libby Dorsey Zimmerman lives in Bloomfield, Colorado with her husband and she works with computers. Her kids, Zach and Hannah, are about the age of mine. The class has four social workers: Mike Fowler who I didn't get to talk to this time, Michelle Porter who works with Native Americans in California and who is a Christian, Susan Devoe who works with sex offenders in KC but is also going to work for Children's Mercy. Dave Blesch is in San Franscisco and doing very well with his company, not married, no kids. Jerry Ehrens (?), crap his name is escaping me temporarily, lives in CA also and is married and has two young kids. I don't remember him being so incredibly nice in high school! Troy Rea is bald but still good looking and lives in Leavenworth running a car dealership with his brothers. Bob Wrigley is excellent looking and a big flirt. He told me that I'm hot, that he loves my hair and that a woman had to be beautiful and confident to wear their hair like that! Hecter McAnderson and his high school sweetheart and bride were there. He is retired from special ops. Michele Best lives in Heidelberg, Germany with her husband and teenagers and gets to travel around Europe and loves it. Michele told me she remembers me being never judgemental toward anyone in high school! So cool! Karen Johnson DePriest was there along with Karrie Wiley and they organized the whole thing. I thought everyone looked great, the same or even better! We all looked our age but good! I talked with Jeannette Evans about all the Sunday School classes we went to together. Sue Holliman Moore was there with Tim who is handsome! They are very much in love. Sue runs a daycare in their home and is very dedicated to it. Both her parents have passed. Her oldest son is in Florida and younger son just got married. Tim has kids and they have a nine year old daughter together. Jeannette Finnell was there an bubbly as usual along with Deena Roe. People were very huggy and open and kind and genuinely glad to see you. Chris Robinson was there with his wife. Talked to Brenda Boyer and Cathy Cummins. Jim Norwood died in a car accident and apparently their son died recently also so Lori Foster wasn't there. Kyle couldn't come for some reason. Here are a few pics.