Big News!

Big News Having breast cancer changes everything. Even if the kind I had wasn't life threatening, being told I have cancer has changed my perspective completely. First, I've never felt the kind of love and support that I've experienced in the last two months. I truly want to love and support others the way I've been loved. To pay it forward. And because it truly helps. A kind word, a note, a hug, a thoughtful gift or flower or text or favor. It lifts my spirits, brings me a smile, a peaceful feeling, joy. I never feel alone. My stress level has been lower. It's really indescribable. I want to be there for others the way they've been there for me. Second, the things that were important aren't anymore. Like scrolling through Facebook. Like getting everything on my to do list done. Third, things I put off, I realize are very important. I have so many people I want to be closer to, to form a deeper friendship with. We have people we want to have over but we never have the time or energy. We have family we hardly ever see. My Mom needs me more. Over Christmas, Leah said she needs me more. She's pregnant and is trying to run a business and Emmet is a busy boy. And I really want to see them more. I never see my Dad. I've never been to refuel, our Wednesday nights at TRU! Fourth, School social work is challenging. It's tiring. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. I love it very much. And it's changing. But I feel like I'm running around putting out fires, putting bandaids on things, providing short term solutions. I want to go deeper, to use the skills I've learned as a therapist to heal. And to help people grow closer to God, the true source of healing and wholeness. Fifth, I love Homestead. I run in, do group, run out. I get invited to the special events and I can go sometimes, but I often say no. There is so much to be done there, so many needs. Our trauma therapist leaves in May after she's gotten her doctorate. So in December, I checked, and as of my birthday, I will have met the requirements to retire from the schools and KPERS. We met with our financial planner, Courserlapo, and HR at work. At the end of this school year, I will retire from USD 383. In June, I will start two days per week as a therapist at CourserLapo Clinical and Family Services. I'm sad and excited all wrapped up in one. So that's why I said my plan is to do the radiation, have the grandbaby, have closure at school and retire, go on a trip with mom, have a giant celebration party(birthday, anniversary, retirement, and no more cancer!), then have an elective surgery, then start my new job. And only work two days per week! Now that's a lot to wrap my brain around.