Alone but not Lonely

     I was just discussing this over email--how when you have the option of being with people, but chose not to, you aren't lonely.  Sometimes I really like being alone.  Its probably that selfish part of me--I like to do whatever I want when I want and that feels like an extravagance after being married for 28 years and being a parent for 24 years.
     Scott left for Georgia with his soccer team early Thursday morning.  Of course, Thursday and Friday I did my regular routine--get up and ready, go to work, come home and nap with the pups, watch Ellen, go work out, come home, eat, then read and go to bed.  Well, Friday I had my nap after work then Jon and his friend Cesar came by and spent about an hour with me.  I enjoyed that--they are fun, sweet young men.  Then I went to my step class which feels a bit like a family, and when I got out to the car, I saw Joel had called.  I called and chatted with him for almost an hour sitting in the car with a lovely breeze blowing through the car.  We laughed a lot.  I was looking forward to my traditional Friday night Chipoltle, which I also don't mind doing alone, but decided after my bath to run out to the football game to see if Adelle won the car for perfect attendance.  I walked up at the perfect time--3 minutes left in the first half, and they were doing the giveaway right at that end of the stadium!  I stood by the fence and Rose waited with me and I was able to talk to Adelle both before and after the giveaway.  She didn't win.  She was disappointed but we talked about it briefly and then she cheered right up when I said I was coming to get her Saturday and we'd spend the whole afternoon. That was an amazing feeling, to know I am that important to someone. Blesses me deeply.  I then thoroughly enjoyed my Chipotle which I ate sitting outside the coffee shop reading my book.  I topped it off with a sugar free vanilla steamer then hurried home to my puppies who aren't used to being alone so much.  I spent the rest of the evening reading on the back deck.  Wonderful!
     Then this morning I got up and had a text from my friend at work, LouAnn, to see if I wanted some apples and pears.  She came right over and delivered them and took a quick tour of the house!  I LOVE the people I work with.  The new counselor, Angela is a ton of fun as is the new psychologist, Nathan, and the new nurse, Erica.  I like the new resource teachers, too.  A bunch of people have stepped up to help with FCA this year, too.  I just feel sooooo blessed to have these people along with my sweet Mary, and Greg and Marvin to spend time with.  I actually missed them this summer!  What a true blessing.
    Also this week, met with the Homestead gal again and felt so blessed and honored to be a part of her recovery.  She is so open to our love and to God's love, neither of which has she ever experienced.  She is absolutely soaking it all up.  She is MAJORLY struggling with addiction, depression, anxiety, and huge loss, having given up absolutely all that seemed "normal" to her and changing everything in her life to come here and make a new start.  She is EXACTLY the person we designed Homestead for and is carving the way for more girls to come.  Pray for her complete restoration--she has a heart's desire to help girls get out of the industry.   I just know God is going to heal and restore her and use her for this purpose.
    God is sooooo good!

Quiet Time, etc.

     I officially started back to work this week.  I am now ready.  We had the largest group of kids at Camp Dewey ever!  Turns out we are up 125 kids!  My caseload is going to be huge!  I have met and like all the new staff, had lunch with Angela, the new counselor, and am feeling really good about all of that.  This year we can take our own computers so I will take my laptop for now and then purchase either an ipad or a mac and take it to work with me!  I like my hair and the couple of new clothes items and shoes which always helps with the school start up, too.
     I got Adelle yesterday and she was challenging!  We came over to the house and she did her facebook and Youtube while I read.  I needed to run some more errands so I gave her the two more songs warning.  When we were ready to go, she said she'd listen to one more song while I was in the bathroom (she knows me well).  When I came out, she hadn't started one yet and was getting ready to start a 4 minute song!  So I told her we were going.  She started fussing and wouldn't drop it.  She whined all the way through Bed Bath and Beyond and the Pet Store.  She was mad in the car that I hadn't brought a pad of paper for her to make a list on and then wanted me to buy one for her.  She wanted Orange Leaf and we are trying to limit her sugar intake but I did cave on that and let her get a little one.  Then at Menard's she wanted a drink and kept whining.  I had to be so firm that she finally felt bad and gave me a hug.  It was intense!  She needs to start school and get back in her routine!
     These pics are of my wonderful quiet time that continues even though it is shorter and much earlier now.  I take my breakfast out on the deck (the dogs love it out there and stay up on the deck!).  I read my devotion and do my memorization (I have been doing this for about 6 months now but am now memorizing the 50 verses everyone should know that we will be doing in FCA this year....  I never thought my old brain could do this but I am doing fine!)  Then I do my prayer journal.  I pray for the kids every day and then divide up all the other things to pray for throughout the week--family, Bible study friends, the world, healing, school and clients, my kids' friends, missionaries, and Homestead.  Thursday is Thankful Thursday!
     I forgot to mention that we have two girls at Homestead!  I am so excited!  I met one, a gal who was on the street for two days and then rescued, and a girl from New Jersey.  We start small group on Tuesday night. I am so excited for that!  Pray hard for these girls and the 4 more that will come.
     This picture is my quiet time area and the other is of the new plants I bought and repotted for out there.

     Emily's shower today!  Have a great day!

Vets

     I've changed vets three times now since Kevin died.  I have such a strong aversion to going to the vet.  I started at the one here in town that Kevin recommended before he died when Professor was sick and his xray machine was down.  He talked me through it on the phone but they still ended up gouging me for a ton of money.  Kevin kept them from cutting Professor open, though.  So after he died, I called around and ended up at a vet in Wamego.  All vets except Kevin as such shisters!  They did a full exam every time I went in there even if I just wanted a stupid cortizone shot for the dog.  I don't think Kevin did a full exam but maybe once on each dog in their whole lives.  If something was wrong, they got a cortizone shot.  Kevin did save Rex's eyes once, though, by sewing them shut.  I loved the way Kevin neutered the dogs.  Everyone else I knew took their dogs in and left them anywhere from 1-3 days and paid tons of money.  Kevin would walk out into the waiting room, give the dog a shot, and warn you they were going to puke.  The second they puked, Kevin would whisk up the barf with a paper towel.  He'd the poke the dog in the eye.  If he didn't blink, he was ready for surgery.  Kevin took the dog in the other room for like 3 minutes then bring it back to me.  He'd tell me how to roll the dogs legs back and forth to help it wake up.  Then he'd poke it in the eye again and when it blinked, it was time to go home.  He charged next to nothing.
     The vet in Wamego tried to guilt me into doing more for the dogs, for example, he wanted to put them under and clean their teeth--$180!  Kevin just yanked their teeth when they rotted out and said to feed them softer food if they quit eating.  The last time I took Rex to see Kevin, he gave Rex a shot then took him back to pull his tooth and Leah and i heard this crazy, loud moaning sound.  I asked Kevin if I could go back there and he said yes.  He grinned as Rex moaned and said Rex was anesthesia resistant so he gave him another shot.  He ended up pulling 8 teeth.  So I try to explain this to the new vet and I think she thinks I'm slightly insane.
    So yesterday as I was thinking about what I wanted to have done at the new vet (I'm trying out one closer to us)and playing out scenarios in my mind of how to advocate for fewer services (like not bringing in a fecal sample for the recommended intestine test--their intestines are fine!  And if Kevin had any doubt, he'd put a q tip up there and get his own sample!).  As I played these scenarios out in my mind, I was getting more and more worked up and before I knew it, I was in tears.  I felt mad at Kevin for leaving us to have to go through this.  And I felt guilty for taking Kevin for granted all these years.  I miss him.
    The new vet worked out fine.  They didn't guilt me into any extra tests and had a reasonable solution to Professor's itchy skin to try.  She may think I'm slightly crazy, though.  I don't think there are any vets left in the world like Kevin.

Lele

Forgot to say that Thursday I drove to Newton to pick up Lele for a quick trip home.  We ate at Chong's in Newton then ate at Chipotle here!  She went with me to get my hair cut and face waxed and we went to Target and the mall.  She and Scott went with me to the gym, too!  Fun!  Sent her back with the van.  I love it when the kids come home.

http://little-girlonthe-prairie.blogspot.com/2012/08/on-professors-last-day.html
Leah does such a good job of blogging!

A Weekend Alone

     I could have spent this weekend with Scott, coaching soccer in Overland Park, or gone to see my folks, but I go back to work this next week so I wanted to stay home.  Yesterday, I got to spend some time with PEOPLE which was fun and got some things done but managed to abuse my shoulder in the meantime.  I got up, did some cleaning after my quiet time on the deck (wonderful!) then went to pick up Adelle.  She and I must have been thinking alike because she brought her swimsuit!  We came to the house and she did some computer stuff while I finished up some laundry, then we changed and got ready to go.  She said, "It is sooo gorgeous out, let's walk to the pool!"  My sentiments exactly!  I laid around the pool and read (am reading a good book--Wishing Trees) and even floated some on the lazy river.  Adelle mostly went down the slides.  We stayed two hours.  I saw Pam there and she said she only had a half hour for dinner so I invited her to the house.  She came by but just before she arrived, Hannah B came by, too!  That would have been most awesome, but she brought girlfriend and it drove Rex insane.  So she had to leave pretty quickly.  Pam ate then had to run, so Adelle did her computer thing and ate, and I read on the deck.  I took her home and went to the gym where I did the elliptical, the shoulder machines (approved by my PT), and the stair climber. I came home and painted a bunch of the front of the house.  This, combined with the windows I washed earlier, must have been a bit much for my shoulder.  But I am still very hopeful that the shot I got on Wednesday was the cure!  I will need to learn to not abuse it!

     Then today, I am trying to OD on the Olympics which end tonight and on being home.  I am bored and lonely but I could easily do anything different.  I am making myself a feast, currently, of grilled steak with cracked pepper, roasted sweet potatoes with salt and cinnamon, and roasted asparagus tips with Parmesan and flax seed.  I may even make greek yogurt brownies but it would be hard not to overeat that.  I may sit out on the deck while I grill and eat.
     This whole blog is me, me, me and our sermon is about switching our minds from me to we.  I am terrible at this.  I feel the pull to do it, to connect, to do for others.  I suppose that is much of what I do all school year. My approach this year is going to be to truly focus on others and find ways to support them in ways THEY feel supported, not ways I think I should support them.  Today, I may put some cards and checks in the mail, for weddings and surprises.
Happy weekend!

People

This weekend was about people!  Love it!  Had JC up to help us paint and prep the house!  He worked all day and we enjoyed his company and appreciated his help immensely!  I also had Adelle over for a few hours and we did the usual--rock out in the car, put our hands up in the air and throw our rock fists, then she ate and ate, watched and danced to her You Tubes on the big TV, and checked her facebook.  I also went to the mall and bought some new Toms I've been wanting, the flower ones, some jeans I needed, and some new underwear.  You gotta have new underwear to start school, right?

Then Sunday we had new friends, Genae and Greg Denver over for lunch and we visited out on the new deck all afternoon!  It was quite enjoyable.

Joel called and we discovered that his financial aid was cut in half.  We are appealing it.  It is quite discouraging to think that we have helped our kids with college quite a bit, they all work hard, none of them have cars because we and they can't afford it, we are getting help from the government (a tad) and they will still all graduate owing tons of money in student loans.  Erg.

Anyway, popping in to school today to welcome the new counselor, finish prepping for Camp Dewy tomorrow and try to get myself in school mode.  After tomorrow, I still have the rest of the week off and two days next week but the mood has sure changed.  I am enjoying my leisure on the new deck in the cool breeze this morning.  Happy Monday!

Summer is winding down

Yikes!  Summer is almost over and I will return to work.  It is ok because at this point in the summer, I lose motivation to do anything much and lose satisfaction in doing nothing at the same time.  It is a weird feeling.  Some updates for you:

The house:  we now have the front siding ripped off the house, a completed rock wall and cleaned out yard front and back, a new rug under the patio furniture on the deck, a new front door insert and portico (not completed entirely), a chosen house color (a minter, fresher green with white trim), and trimmed out, repaired windows in the front.  We still have a lot of little things to do.  Scott has been painting and my nephew, JC, is coming to help tomorrow.

The shoulder:  still waiting to talk to the surgeon.  The MRI showed a mess but not conclusive as to whether it was a tear or severe tendonitis.  It feels a bit better as I am actually resting it!  We signed me up for new insurance today--my district, with Scott's insurance co paying, and that doesn't kick in until October 1.  So unless the surgeon says he can do it within a few days so I can be recovered more or less when school starts, I will probably wait to do it.

I took Adelle to the fair last weekend and that was fun.  She was much more interested in finding friends to talk to than riding rides but she did both.  Here is a pic of Adelle throwing her rock fist which is one of the fun things we do every time we get together--rock out to super loud music in the car.

Water jog is still fun.  Here are some pics of that.  I taught mine and Dena's classes on Wednesday and today and we had cooler temps after morning rains both mornings.  I got out the tubes today.  Love it!