Beautiful days

I am so grateful for so many things today. Yesterday very early in the morning we said goodbye to Joel. He has so many wonderful friends. They stood in the driveway and sang silly goodbye songs to him! I was so relieved to hear Scott and Zeb pull back into the driveway after the adventure of getting to the airport and back through snow, carsickness, and sadness seeing Joel off. Then when I awoke, found my livingroom had been transformed back from a disgusting dorm room complete with stink, slop, trash, pizza, etc. to a lovely livingroom. Scott had cleaned it up before he fell asleep. I kept busy yesterday, going to churh, time with Adelle, and a few chores, that I didn't experience the crazy grief I felt when the girls left. God showed me through that that its ok to share my emotions with Him, even ones that I don't think I should feel. I let go this time and let myself be sad if I needed to be. I clung to the Word and His promises and replaced every sad thought with a happy one. Joel made all his connections and the shuttle and got back to USC without any problems. I took a nap and then Scott and I had some time together then went to Bible study then the gym to work out and sit in the sauna. My Bible study friends are so awesome. We can share our true hearts and selves with them. And did I mention that I went to the library and got a stack of great books to read? I slept good las night and found out we have a snow day off school! I went back to sleep til 8:30. I am loving my quiet time on the couch with both doggies curled up next to me. I watched two episodes of Joyce Meyer and prayed thoroughly for my family, once again releasing the kids into God's very capable hands. I am grateful for all and am looking forward to the rest of this glorious day with anticipation and joy.

Open House at the gym

Got up this morning, ate breakfast, stopped by the bank, and went to the gym for open house! I got on the gravity machine first thing which I love. It was such hard work, mostly lower body. Check out the schedule and did a bosu class for half an hour--intervals. Loved it! It was crowded but fun. Took a break and had a protein shake sample. Asked a gal if she could show me the machines and she did. I'm excited to be able to use them to work out when Scott and I go when there aren't classes. Then I tried a new class--body jam. It was a dance class much like zumba but to electric,hip hop and rock. I wasn't into it but still enjoyed it. Think I'll try it again on Fridays. Saw some snacks on the way out and resisted the sweet breads but had some yogurt, fruit and granola.
Headed home and did some cleaning. Joel leaves in 4 hours for LA. I'm concerned about the trip to and from the airport due to the snow that is coming. I don't feel too sad yet and have plans to stay busy this week. Hannah got to Laramie ok.

Christmas 2010

Ok, I think I can blog about this holiday without tears. I need to just accept that I cry for about a day and a half whenever I say goodbye to the kids and be done with it. Then I get back to life and its ok. It was so amazing having the kids here for two and a half weeks! Joel for three! Here are some things that stood out: 1. Picking up Hannah and Joel at the airport and eating Wendy's in the car in the middle of the night. We talked all the way home. When we got home about 2:00 am, Joel's friends came almost immediately. We could hear their feet running to get to the door. They all hugged Joel, so happy to see him.
2. The girls came up to Eisenhower to see me after I texted Leah that Nancy's kids were there. It was so honoring. They chatted with Nancy, Mary and LouAnn quite a while. 3. Joel's friends up in his room and in the livingroom playing video games, music and monopoly, trashing the place with gaterade bottle and pop cans and dishes. There was always someone awake when I stumbled out in the night. 4. We all did lots of sitting around visiting, playing on the computers, crafting and knitting. 5. Christmas at the Lake--lots of good food and conversation. We played minute to win it ring toss and sang Twelve Days of Christmas. Scott and Sam kicked each other every verse. On the way back home, we sang together as traditional and at one point was a song by Ben Kweller about being family and taking care of each other. 6. Leah went for coffee with Adelle and I and Hannah went with Adelle and I to the gym. 7. Hannah went to the gym with us quite a bit, once to class, to run on the treadmill and sit in the sauna. 8. Christmas Day was relaxing. Started with stockings while Scott woke up as traditional. The kids always like the useful stocking stuff. The girls loved their tights, Leah's art supplies, Hannah's film and card to process it. Leah was pleased with the debt forgiveness and offer to help with Professor expenses, guess she was worried about that. Joel liked his wordle. Hannah gave me a ring, earrings, and a comb. 9. Julie and Larry came up and we ate at Olive Garden then Jackie and TJ came over. 10. The girls and I went to Coco Bolos. 11. We cooked together a lot--homemade bread, homemade pizza, steak, a traditional turkey dinner on Christmas Day and lots of orange danish rolls. We ate all the cookies that Adelle and I made. I gained 6 pounds. 12. Shari, Emily, Max and Sam came to see us and spend a good chunk of the day. We all walked to Chipotle and R & R together. Shari gave me great books and magazines and a word outline of "lovely" to put on my computer. 13. We drove to KC to eat dinner with Dad and Jean and get glasses in Topeka for Joel and Hannah. 14. Mom came up and we played monopoly. We took a break and ran to Dillons for ice cream and were loud and silly. 15. We played Quelf several times. Joel was an angry elf, Scott a pirate. Leah had to sit in a fort, cover her hand with foil and sit with one hand on the floor--and had to quack when anyone got a card. Hannah had to say bleeping every sentence and Scott had to say, "Hear me for I have spoken." Lots of laughter. 16. As many trips to Chipoltle as we could squeeze in. If you double click on the photo above, it should take you to the whole album in Picasa. Let me know if you were successful or not with this. Love you!

a beautiful day

after i wrote that pitiful blog last night, i got up and took two ibuprofens and a hormone pill and slept til 8:45. went to the gym with hannah, worked out hard, sat in the sauna, showered, and came home. just finished vacuuming and shari and the boys and then emily arrived! we exchanged gifts--fun! and laughed and visited. then the whole crew walked to chipotle for burritos then rock star and rogers. played a short game of quelf in which scott had to be a pirate, joel had to keep his elbow on the board, and leah had to quack each time a card was drawn. emily stayed after shari left and i took a nap with the pups. i have been sitting around all evening still feeling a bit peaked but satisfied after a beautiful day. even sqeezed in a quick trip to the library!

thoughts and feelings

i'm lying in bed trying to sleep because I don't feel well and I am feeling weird, unraveled. i'm completely out of my routine and I like routine. I don't know when to be sleepy or hungry or what to be in the mood to do. I don't even have a good book in the house to read! I ought to be really blissful that all the kids are home but instead I feel a strange mixture of mostly sadness that the time they are here is winding down and I will soon need to say goodbye again. I also just finished a very depressing novel. My dad is having stints put in his heart tomorrow and we drove all day to go see him for a short meal. my sister in law is coming tomorrow and I want to see her but I don't know what to feed everyone or what we will do. visit. we will visit. my mom wants to see the kids but now she has to drive here because she didn't feel well enough for us to pick her up today. Then one day til hannah flies off and leah drives off. I wish they'd at least leave one at a time. why can;t i just feel happy that they are here and happy that they are happy? I feel like poo poo--my head and stomach hurt. I need sleep but I can't sleep. I want to go work out but my foot hurts. erg. will I feel better when I get back into my routine again, go back to work? what will i do with myself this weekend after the girls leave? Lord, help me, I'm a mess.

Freeze Frame 11:30 a.m. Christmas Eve

Joel is still asleep, unfortunately he is sick. Hopefully when he wakes up he will feel much better! Hannah has started a new project of sorting through all the CD's, putting them in their cases, etc. She is a tiny bit crabby, taking suggestions as "harassment". Scott is in rare form--fake gas, strange sounds AND randomly singing tidbits of old songs. Leah is on he computer. The dogs are cuddly. No one has showered. We are sucking down coffee with hazelnut creamer at an alarming rate and occasionally popping a blueberry pancake even though all the plates are dirty. The doorbell rings and its Pam and Sarah come to visit--the only people I do not feel mortified in front of that I haven't even brushed my teeth yet. Its all good, very good.

The kids home for Christmas

I can’t possibly summarize or put into words what it means to me to have the kids home so I’ll just try to capture a moment in time. I am having such a great day so I will capture this moment. I got up this morning having gotten a good night sleep despite Leah coming home around 12:30 and Joel’s friends all coming over around that time. Hannah had stayed home for the evening so she was excited to have company. I could hear her voice over all the others. I finally got up and read for awhile and just basked in the lovely noise of kids in the house. I went up to Joel’s room and gathered about 50 pop cans and gaterade bottles and took it out to the curb with the rest of the recycling(am I the only person in the world who recycles in the middle of the night?). This morning I woke to a quiet house about 9 and cuddled with Rex uninterrupted by Professor who slept upstairs with the girls. The house was perfectly quiet so I had my quiet time (watch Joyce Meyer and wrote in my prayer journal). I got up and did some laundry and dishwashing. Having the kids home does mean more work but that is temporary. I went back to bed and finished the book I am reading which I didn’t love but liked ok and it was loooong—Katherine Neville The Eight. Now Hannah is awake and she’s sitting in the chair across from me on Leah’s computer. Today’s plans include eating leftover homemade pizza from last night that the girls and I made, getting Adelle for a few hours and then gravity class at the gym. I’m so excited about that! Hannah and Joel have tickets to the ksu game tonight so that blows our plans for Chipotle. Scott is at the fire department today then he’s off til after the first. Leah will get up next and the girls and I will sit around and chat and drink coffee probably til time to get Adelle. What a great day! Here are some photos including one of Adelle helping make cookies before the kids came home. (The house was perfect--lights up, tree up, theme wrapped shiny gifts, clean, fridge and cupboards stuffed to brimming with the kids' favorite foods and treats to eat). It also includes a crazy face contest Hannah challenged us to--I won with Rex as runner up although Hannah posted a few really good ones herself.