thoughts and feelings

i'm lying in bed trying to sleep because I don't feel well and I am feeling weird, unraveled. i'm completely out of my routine and I like routine. I don't know when to be sleepy or hungry or what to be in the mood to do. I don't even have a good book in the house to read! I ought to be really blissful that all the kids are home but instead I feel a strange mixture of mostly sadness that the time they are here is winding down and I will soon need to say goodbye again. I also just finished a very depressing novel. My dad is having stints put in his heart tomorrow and we drove all day to go see him for a short meal. my sister in law is coming tomorrow and I want to see her but I don't know what to feed everyone or what we will do. visit. we will visit. my mom wants to see the kids but now she has to drive here because she didn't feel well enough for us to pick her up today. Then one day til hannah flies off and leah drives off. I wish they'd at least leave one at a time. why can;t i just feel happy that they are here and happy that they are happy? I feel like poo poo--my head and stomach hurt. I need sleep but I can't sleep. I want to go work out but my foot hurts. erg. will I feel better when I get back into my routine again, go back to work? what will i do with myself this weekend after the girls leave? Lord, help me, I'm a mess.