Life Stage

I always hesitate to put too personal of stuff on here but it also helps me to process stuff. I don't have anyone to regularly do that with. I've learned that Scott is a person who needs to process things aloud so traditionally, when we spend time together it is I listening. I suppose he might feel differently. It is never enough, I know.

Lately we have truly struggled due to the life stage we are in. Our marraige has had many of these such struggles and they always bring you closer in the end, with the Lord's help, but they are hard to go through. I suppose marraige is a series of difficult life phases that you go through and work through together.

Anyway, we are two selfish people with huge needs and right now, our needs are in exact contrast to each other. Scott is lonely since he retired. He sits here alone all day with the dogs driving him crazy and no one to talk to. And he's in an online grad program. If you are a social person who needs to process things aloud, do not enroll online. He has tons to process and no one to process it with. I, on the other hand, have been with people all day long and have processed the holy hell out of every issue in meetings and emails and conversation all day long. It is a particularly difficult time of year and I feel like I'm fighting to put one foot in front of the other every day. I live for the quiet weekends. In the evenings, I nap and rest and do avoidance things like facebook and pinterest and tv. I work out every day which takes a huge chunk of time. I am terrible, terrible, at putting my needs aside to listen to Scott. And on top of that, he wants me to give him his full attention, at the time he needs it (even if I'm trying to cook or get out the door for my class or go take a long waited for nap or go to bed), and he wants specific feedback at the right time and in the right way. He deserves better attention than he's getting and it comes across as totally disrespectful when I keep one eye on my computer or say, "hum" or something. Even if we totally try, it is impossible to have both of our needs met. So with God's help we will get through this. Scott's soccer season starts next week so that will help. I guess. Your prayers are appreciated.

I want to add here for anyone who worries (and I know kids naturally do and moms naturally do and those are my main followers, ok, my only followers and readers): Scott is my best friend and we are truly enjoying this time without kids in the house and we are having fun together and are reconnecting. Its just this difficult life stage on top of it. So don't worry. But do pray us through it.