Stop Striving

My brother has me listening to The Power of Joy on cd in the car and I've been doing it all week. I already know this stuff, it's about connecting with God and letting God heal us through the joy of connecting with Him. Its brain research based.  I believe it, I teach it, I preach it.  It's about relationship and not religion.

So every day I do my quiet time which includes praising Him, writing and Journalling my gratitude, studying His word, giving Him my struggles and cares.  This summer I was on fire for God.  I went to Him, connected with Him, several times a day.  Lately, I don't feel it.  I seek Him.  I take my struggles to Him.  But I also struggle with being nice, particularly to Scott.  And I struggle with feeling let down by others, wanting more than they can give me.  I hurt about these and I take them to God regularly.  I'm going back through The Respect Dare and ask God every day to help me achieve the daily goals.  And I fail pretty much every day.  

Here is what God said to me today in church:

Our sermon was about fasting.

"Quit trying.  Quit doing.  Just let me love you, delight in you.  Just appreciate how much I love you.  I loved you enough to die for you.  Just soak in my Presence.  Connect with me.  You've been let down.  You hurt.  You want more.  It's not about you or anything you say or do.  Stop all expectations of yourself and others.  Receive from me.  Be with me.  Let me remind you again of all I've done for you! Who I am, who you are in me.  Let me be in charge.  Give me control.  Humble yourself before me. I will keep you safe from the devil and from yourself.  Fast from all religious doing, all attempts at being. Seek only me and my joy and peace.  Stop all self improvement and resolutions.  Just bask in My glory, My grace.  I will reveal my heart to you.  Fuse your heart to mine.  Be broken before me.  Stop trying to get your needs met from others or the world.  Fast from all striving.

Ok, God.  Keep reminding me.  

Stop Striving

My brother has me listening to The Power of Joy on cd in the car and I've been doing it all week. I already know this stuff, it's about connecting with God and letting God heal us through the joy of connecting with Him. Its brain research based.  I believe it, I teach it, I preach it.  It's about relationship and not religion.

So every day I do my quiet time which includes praising Him, writing and Journalling my gratitude, studying His word, giving Him my struggles and cares.  This summer I was on fire for God.  I went to Him, connected with Him, several times a day.  Lately, I don't feel it.  I seek Him.  I take my struggles to Him.  But I also struggle with being nice, particularly to Scott.  And I struggle with feeling let down by others, wanting more than they can give me.  I hurt about these and I take them to God regularly.  I'm going back through The Respect Dare and ask God every day to help me achieve the daily goals.  And I fail pretty much every day.  

Here is what God said to me today in church:

Our sermon was about fasting.

"Quit trying.  Quit doing.  Just let me love you, delight in you.  Just appreciate how much I love you.  I loved you enough to die for you.  Just soak in my Presence.  Connect with me.  You've been let down.  You hurt.  You want more.  It's not about you or anything you say or do.  Stop all expectations of yourself and others.  Receive from me.  Be with me.  Let me remind you again of all I've done for you! Who I am, who you are in me.  Let me be in charge.  Give me control.  Humble yourself before me. I will keep you safe from the devil and from yourself.  Fast from all religious doing, all attempts at being. Seek only me and my joy and peace.  Stop all self improvement and resolutions.  Just bask in My glory, My grace.  I will reveal my heart to you.  Fuse your heart to mine.  Be broken before me.  Stop trying to get your needs met from others or the world.  Fast from all striving.

Ok, God.  Keep reminding me.  

Garmin

I got the funniest gift for Christmas. A garmin vivosmart HR!

It tells me to get moving, keeps track of my activity, heart rate, and sleep, has the weather and phone notifications(texts, etc).  I haven't done this yet, but I can wear it in the pool to keep track of that, too!

Here is the number of steps I went today: 

Here is the temp currently:

There is an app on my phone that I analyze all this on.

Here is my sleep last night:

And here is how much I moved in the night:

It syncs with an app that I put in what I eat and it keeps track of calories and nutrients.

It's a lot of fun.  I'd like to tell you that it is helping me lose weight but it hasn't at all!  I think it is good for me overall, but most of all, it sure is fun!

Professor

Not a day I particularly want to remember.  So so sad.  A couple of weeks ago, Professor hurt his back.  Leah brought him up and we took him to the chiropractor.  It was so sad to see him try to walk. His back legs were all wobbly and he was in pain.  Leah's vet had said they could do surgery for $2000 and a 50. % chance it would work.  So we hoped for the chiropractor.  He showed a tiny bit of improvement.  Leah held him at our house for 4 days so he wouldn't reinjure it.  We went back a second time and hoped again.  She took him home and held him there.  He had a couple of good days, she said.  Then his back legs stopped working altogether.  She took him to the vet there yesterday and called crying.  Little to no chance of surgery working.  And he couldn't poop.  So we made an appointment for him here to be euthanized.

Leah and David came with he little guy this afternoon and we held him and cried, all of us, Scott, Joel, Dave, Leah, me.  Hannah was with us on the phone and in spirit.  

We all wrote our memories of Professor for Leah.  We went to the vet and waited for all the people to leave, sitting in the car crying.  We all went back I to the room and cried while the vet gave him his shot and he got floppy.  We wrapped him in a blanket and carried him home.  We put him in a special box and read our memories and put copies of the memories in the box.  The. We put him in the hole Scott and Joel had dug in the backyard.  More tears and hugs.

We all loved him so very much.  What a great little dog.  I didn't want to tell Leah this, but I'm sure she knows, you really only get one dog you feel that way about in a lifetime. 

Here are our memories:

Leah:

Me:

Scott:

Joel:

Hannah:

Some favorite photos of Professor:

Christmas 2015

Christmas snuck up on me again and I put little effort into it yet it was amazing,as always.  I did even less this year in terms of gifts and decorations and preparations. School is so stressful the weeks leading up.  And there are so many parties, this year, 4 in one weekend.  But they were fun.  We had a girl's get together at a coworker's house, then Lake Christmas, then a work dinner, then a TRU party, all in one weekend.  I consumed much food and alcohol and had many laughs.  

Lake Christmas is always special and fun.

Julie came to see us a couple times over break which I always enjoy.

And we had a relaxing time with Dave and Leah and a few extra days with Leah home.  It's fun watching her tummy grow.  

Love having Joel home for such a long visit.  I told him last night it's like having him live here again.  

We missed the hell out of Hannah.  

I had my coworkers, the social workers, over for a little gathering.  This is Molly, my honorary grand baby. 

Christmas Eve morning Scott and I hiked the Konza just the two of us, 6 miles!  

Then Christmas morning, Joel, Scott and I hiked it again, 4.7 miles.

Julie came over along with my Mom and Dave.  And my friend, Christana.  I made a yummy dinner of spiral ham, cheesy potatoes, spinach salad, rolls, and cherry crunch dessert.  Christana said, "you nailed it!" And I have to agree:).  It was a nice time.

We played a lot of cards.  The next evening, Jon came over and we played spades and watched a movie.  Fun.

Scott got me a garmin vivosmart that tracks my activity, heart rate, and sleep.  It's a fun toy.

I need to read this again when I stress out over Christmas next year.  I never enjoy the trivial things that are Christmas. Not just the materialism that bothers a lot of people or the busyness.  I'm talking about the actual Christmas stuff like carols.  I feel like my relationship with Christ is so much deeper than all that.  I guess that makes me a Christmas snob.  It goes back to the whole religion thing that I struggle with more and more.  To me, Christmas is exactly what this one was for me, a time of relaxation and family and close friends and joy.

Thanksgiving

     So grateful to have the kids home for Thanksgiving!  It was a short visit that ended abruptly because of the bad weather but oh, so great to have them here.  Joel arrived home on Sunday after his flight into kci was cancelled Saturday night.  Scott went to pick him up in Wichita on Sunday and surprised Leah with stopping by to see her in Newton.  Hannah and Kent got here Tuesday night.  Wednesday during the day we hiked Rocky Ford.  It was quite enjoyable.  

     Leah and David got here Wednesday evening.  The visit went as most holidays do with some games played and lots of food and laughter.

  Hannah and Kent brought Kent's huskie, Sierra, and that was somewhat stressful as they jockied for top dog.

 Once Rex conceded that position it was fine, until we added Moose into the mix.  Leah and David brought Moose and Professor.  

So yep, that made 5 kids and 5 dogs.  The big dogs loved to rough house both outside and inside.  But eventually they all settled in.  

      Thanksgiving day we were joined by Alexis, Jeff, and Jake, but they, too, could only stay a short while due to weather.  We ate early and I kept it simple so that I could relax and enjoy the rest of the day.  thanksgiving also involves lots of eating, all day, and this year, drinking cider beer too.  I enjoyed the day.

      Last night we all went out to eat at Coco Bolos.  

     This morning Leah and I got up and chatted.  Then the weather started turning bad and we all had a hugging, tearful goodbye.  We won't get to see Hannah at Christmas this year. Joel stays until Tuesday.   It was all over way too quickly but it was so good to have them here.

     Family photo: